EXCLUSIVE: Farage in talks to build superhero amusement park near old school, Dulwich College

Former Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage has approached the Dulwich Estate with a scheme to create a superhero theme park on its open spaces, called JokerLand.

The 56-year-old, who joined the advisory board of tree-planters Dutch Green Business last month, has been trying to draw support from investors as far away as Cape Town. He has also begun the search for a web designer.

Farage himself would tour the attraction as The Joker, posing for selfies and fighting off unwanted attention from visitors’ grannies. He had claimed to be Thor, but his backers said he just needed to rub in a thmall bit of emolient cream.

And his backers thought posing as Superman, as above, would spark the wrong kind of meme.

The former politician, who lives 13 miles away in Single Street, Biggin Hill, hoped to have a Batcave-style HQ built under Peckham Town FC’s pitch on Dulwich Common. But the Trotters, as they are known, snorted at the idea.

Among the rides planned would be Slash Mountain, Mission Brussels, and the Farage Fear Fall.

European tourists will be offered a special attraction, the Black Pit of A Million Knives. This ride has an added feature – loved ones can buy a picture afterwards of their late family member enjoying their last moments.

Farage believes he is best to lead the project because, like most theme park customers, he is used to waiting for ages for a thrill and being disappointed by the result.

He has avoided any mention of Iron Man – because he at first took it to be an instruction not a superhero.

The influential politician, who went to Dulwich College from 1975-82 before working in the stock exchange, has been looking for a new career outside politics after achieving his aim of pulling the country out of the European Union.

Dulwich Estate would not confirm the approach.

A Southwark council spokeswoman sniggered.

A spokesman for the Justice League smashed the phone.

Hopeful applicants for vacancies at the new amusement park should email toby@slpmedia.co.uk

All applicants should supply a photo of them in superhero costume, including villains. A strict equal opportunity policy will be imposed, so do not reveal your secret, mild-mannered identity. Wolverines need not apply.

Attach the reference U/R/A/F001 and send before 12:00hrs today, April 1.

 

 


 

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One thought on “EXCLUSIVE: Farage in talks to build superhero amusement park near old school, Dulwich College

  • 4 April 2021 at 10:03
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    Farage is a clown anyway – would be a shame to ruin Dulwich – but fitting for him

    Reply

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