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Christopher Walker reviews The Real Ones

The Mersey poet Brian Patten once wrote some prophetic words on friendship.

“And sometimes it happens that you are friends, and then…You are not friends. And friendship has passed.”

In The Real Ones at the Bush theatre, Waleed Akhtar documents just such a breakdown. 

Dreamers, and best friends, Zaid and Neelam go from youthful drug-taking, and clubbing, to middle age compromises. And somehow along the way their friendship breaks apart.

The two leads are both excellent. Nathaniel Curtis gives cuddly playwright Zaid a totally believable personality, and cleverly captures his character’s gradual maturing. 

Nnabiko Ejomofor (Deji) and Mariam Haque (Neelam) in ‘The Real Ones’ at Bush Theatre (Picture: Helen Muray)

Likewise, Mariam Haque as Neelam, a rough-edged girl who sees white prejudice in everything – even dog ownership.

London based writer won an Olivier Award in 2023 for his play ‘The P Word’ which he wrote and starred in. He is an important voice for the Pakistani community, and one assumes Zaid is based on Waleed himself.

In this, his second major play, he bites off quite a few different issues to chew on, while staying close to what he knows best.

Race – of course. And class snobbery. Both here given an interesting twist as we see the tensions between Neelam a Pakistani girl and her Nigerian boyfriend Deji (Nnabiko Ejimofor). His parents think she is common (and she is certainly foul-mouthed and leary), while her parents are horrified by the idea of a black son-in-law who is “not even Moslem.” 

Mariam Haque (Neelam) and Nathaniel Curtis (Zaid) in ‘The Real Ones’ at Bush Theatre (Picture: Helen Muray)

Waleed also tackles age differences – Zaid’s boyfriend Jeremy (Anthony Howell) is thirty years older than him. And religious intolerance, and homophobia. Zaid struggles to come out to his Muslim parents. And the audience realises this is also a factor in Neelam’s growing distance from him. She casually uses him as a “fall back,” when dearer friends or relatives are unavailable.

This all quite a lot to squeeze into just two hours of drama. But heck, why not be ambitious?

There is no real set, or costumes. Just rather a lot of loud music and flashing lights. But all in all, a thoughtful layered piece.

To book tickets – https://www.bushtheatre.co.uk/event/the-real-ones/

Pictured top: From left, Anthony Howell (Jeremy) and Nathaniel Curtis (Zaid) in ‘The Real Ones’ at Bush Theatre (Picture: Helen Muray)

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