Brexit could go down as the mother of all cock-ups as no-one is really sure how it will play out once we get past March 29. It’s going to messy, either way. So, imagine this scenario; one night a group of friends get blind drunk and decide it would be a fantastically marvellous idea to go sky diving.
One of the drunks (for that is what they are) actually owns a plane. Let’s call him Boris. Properly tanked up on aviation fuel and booze, the plane unsteadily climbs higher towards dive height, when one of the not so drunk passengers realises no one has a parachute, much less any parachuting experience.
As the reality of jumping at 5,000ft slowly sinks in, some of the gang argue they shouldn’t get hung up on minor details.
‘Don’t worry guys!’ yells one. Let’s call him NF (not to be confused the NF-as in National Front-the xenophobic bunch of racists from the 1970s).
He reassuringly pats the shoulder of one of his comrades: ‘After you, dear boy. It’ll be just fine, trust me…’ and calmly shoves him out the cargo doors into the darkness.
‘Come on, who’s next? Don’t be such a wuss! How do you think we won the war…or invented Marmite? That’s the spirit…’ And the human lemmings bravely/stupidly follow his lead.
Daylight revealed a horrific sight; hitting the ground at a terminal velocity of 122mph meant there was never any hope of a soft landing.
The hard reality of gravity struck less than 30 seconds after their ill-judged leap of faith. The hardest of landings. To be honest, there have always been vocal groups committed to the UK leaving the EU, ever since joining more than 40 years ago.
I even vaguely remember from my childhood a popular TV show called The Comedians, where one of the ‘stars’ constantly waxed lyrical about the EEC (as the EU was known) and those ‘bleeding Geeermans’ who bombed his local chippy and left the fish battered.
He was quite funny, but never in my wildest dreams would I predict a political movement built around the xenophobic wisdom of Stan Boardman.
However, in hindsight, I now realise Britain truly is a great egalitarian society. Eton produced Jacob Rees-Mogg and Boris Johnson.
South London’s finest school, Dulwich College served up Nigel Farage and ITV’s The Comedians gave us ‘Sir’ Stan Boardman; a true political genius and visionary who should be honoured as the patron saint of the 52 per cent who felt compelled to pull up the drawbridge in order to replay a glorious past like a scratched Max Bygraves record.
Other nations look forward to face the greatest challenge to our civilization, Climate Change, while the Brexiteers deny it as ‘fake news’.
Meanwhile, back in the real world, the beautiful people of South London are coming to terms with a political future they wholeheartedly rejected.
For the record, Lambeth had the highest Remain vote in mainland UK, with 79 per cent supporting a confidently outward looking, culturally diverse and interconnected country.
Whole swathes of London are like this, but what is it about Lambeth that produced this incredible result?
Are we more tolerant or simply too busy to hate?
Ironically, a 2016 (year of the Referendum) Runnymede Trust report also ranked Lambeth as the most racially unequal London borough.
It can be genuinely argued the Green Party – now the official Lambeth opposition party – gave voters a choice of a genuine progressive alternative to the usual political gruel.
Across the country, many constituencies where UKIP and Brexit was strongest, experienced a marked shift away from Labour.
Interestingly, some Remain voters in Vauxhall are now thoroughly dismayed at MP Kate Hoey’s pro-Brexit position.
She has served her constituents well but now harms the democratic foundation of representing the people. Is Labour pro Remain or Leave?
Who knows? Is this why Jeremy Corbyn refuses to take a firm position on Brexit and plays political gymnastics instead?
My day often starts with a Colombian breakfast, followed by a traditional English dinner of fish and chips or curry goat and rice from Jerk Centre in Coldharbour Lane.
Our differences could be celebrated and enjoyed, but when Farage – adding a new twist to ‘hearing voices’ – got upset at hearing different languages and accents on a London bus, I question his ability to travel overseas to deal with people from different cultures.
This is why I am very sceptical of what his supporters say about trading with global partners.
After visiting a local book stall in Brixton I was surprised at the diversity of customers eager to broaden their knowledge of other cultures.
Stallholder Samantha Williams explained how important it is to give children a multicultural education that develops confidence and celebrates difference.
Personally, as someone who visits schools across London, I am always amazed at how easily our children mix; they inhabit another world.
But, unfortunately for younger citizens, many too young to vote in the Referendum, the opportunity to travel freely amongst our European neighbours has been taken away by a political decision they played no part in making. We might live to regret this.
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