The Breakup Monologues questions ghosting, bread-crumbing and conscious uncoupling

A Bromley-based comedian has published a book all about break-ups, inspired by her own experience.

Rosie Wilby said: “My current fascination with break-ups and how we recover from them all started a decade ago when I got dumped by email.

“I joked at the time that I felt much better after I corrected her spelling.”

The ensuing interest in break ups of all kinds has led Ms Wilby to write a book on the subject.

Part memoir, part investigation, takes on the big questions about our life-changing separations in the modern age of ghosting, breadcrumbing and conscious uncoupling.

The book takes a close look at Ms Wilby’s own relationships, how a split parallels the effects of withdrawing from a drug, why friendship break-ups can feel like the worst endings of all, and how polyamory changes the conversation about commitment.

It also explores how break-ups can sometimes be empowering and lead to exciting new life journeys – and how ultimately they can even help us to stay together.

She said: “Comedy is a great way of making tricky subjects accessible. My first book was called Is Monogamy Dead? and was based on a survey I carried out asking, ‘what counts as cheating?’

“The responses revealed that these questions are never quite as black and white as we might think.”

Although Ms Wilby has lived in South London for around 20 years, including Peckham and Brixton, the move south of the river was prompted by a stroke of bad luck.

She said: “I lived in north London during the 1990s and was a musician and music journalist at the time.

“I was living with my first girlfriend in Finsbury Park in a chaotic rented flat which played host to some debauched parties.

“However one day we accidentally left a candle burning and all our stuff went up in smoke.

“So we went to stay with friends who lived in East Dulwich and were effectively camping in their lounge for a summer.

“Even though my partner and I ended up separating, we did so amicably and both remained in the area.”

Luckily, despite her focus on the harder side of relationships, Ms Wilby has managed to find love.

She said: “I now live in Bromley because my new fiancée has a house here. Yes, you read that right.

“I have learned from my many break-ups how to finally choose a suitable partner, settle down and actually stay in a relationship.”

The Breakup Monologues is out now.