How burnt-out care worker who attempted suicide found therapy project saved her life

By Toby Porter

A carer who worked herself to the point of collapse and ended up on the streets and took an overdose is campaigning for more backing for the charity which put her back on her feet.

Shannon, from Lambeth, looked after her brother when they were adopted and then cared for patients when she worked for a mental health charity.

But she overworked so much that she burnt out and collapsed. Now she is backing a campaign to support a homelessness project where therapy helped her realise she had to look after herself before could properly care for others.

Up until her sixth birthday, Shannon and her brother had lived in the care system. 

She settled in West Norwood after her adoptive parents, having originally planned on adopting one child, took in both of them. But growing up for six years unstable and confused had eroded Shannon’s sense of self-worth. 

When Shannon was older, she was later diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and anger issues because of her time in foster care, but as a child she didn’t understand why she felt this way. 

Her love for her brother gave rise to her desire to put the needs of vulnerable people before her own. As a child, she refused to let anyone near her brother. She’d take him to the bathroom, tie his shoelaces, and hold his hand when he was upset. They were inseparable in care.

She said: “My mental health was never really diagnosed ‘till I was an adult. They knew I had issues, but they never actually said what they thought they were.

“Growing up in foster care before the age of six can be traumatizing.”

“I always felt like such a bad kid for having all these anger issues, and then I looked back when I was much older and thought, ‘no wonder I had anger issues! I realised I didn’t know how to control it at that age and that I couldn’t judge myself for that.”

Shannon frequently fought with her adoptive parents. But when they separated things got worse. At the time, Shannon worked for a learning disability and mental health charity. She began to put the needs of others before her own again. 

Shannon had always been a hard worker. But her usual eight-hour shifts often turned to 10- or 12-hour shifts. She’d find herself walking home from work at 2am, exhausted. She was the first one to say ‘yes’ to extra work, because she always wanted to help. But she ended up fainting on shift more than once – and burnt out from the pressures at home and at work.

She said: “I wasn’t able to keep a job because of my mental health and it was impacting my personality at home. I could always get a job, which was really nice. I just couldn’t keep it up because I was either overworking and running myself completely into the ground, or I would take on the emotional responsibility of everyone else around me.”

She left home and sofa surfed at her friend’s family home but felt too uncomfortable to stay. Shannon became street homeless after failing to find housing through the council. She lacked a passport, provisional driver’s licence, or the documents to support her application. 

“I ended up street homeless for almost two months,” she said. “It was horrendous, but when you meet the right people it can be alright. It’s when you meet the wrong people that you can get into some trouble.

“Thankfully I met the nice people! Funnily enough, I had known two for years – every time I went to my local Sainsbury’s I bought them something. They said, ‘you can’t be the one that’s here now!’

“Whenever I go to that Sainsbury’s I still buy them food to this day.”

She fell into a regular routine of sleeping during the day and staying awake during the night. 

“There was one time I fell asleep on the 91 bus and the driver had noticed that I’d been on it for three trips,” she said. “He actually bought me a sandwich and left it next to me. He didn’t tell me to get off, or that I hadn’t paid. I had the first proper sleep I’d had in ages.

“That act of kindness meant everything at the time.”

After two months of being street homeless, Shannon’s case was pushed forward when Shannon’s stepmother agreed to come in to verify Shannon’s identity. ~She still moved between crash pads, churches and emergency housing offered by the council. But then she was referred to Evolve Housing + Support.

At first, she kept her distance from other residents and continued staying awake at night and sleeping in the day.

In 2018, Evolve Housing + Support found a strong link between trauma, mental health and homelessness in its ‘Hurt to Homelessness’ report. 

Research revealed that 80% of homeless people have suffered a traumatic event in their childhood. The results highlighted the vital need for counselling and the pivotal impact it would have helping homeless people overcome their traumatic experiences and being able to move on.

By the time Shannon came to Evolve, the charity had launched a free, in-house counselling service for all homeless residents to help individuals break the cycle and achieve independence again. 

Shannon stressed the pathway to recovery is long but attainable.

“It took me a while to open up to anyone, even my support worker at the time,” she said. “My anxiety was really bad. I was in a brand-new place with almost 100 other people and it felt really daunting after pretty much being by myself for ages.

“I actually went into hospital during my first year at Evolve. I thought I was doing well. I even managed to trick myself! I went to a play on the Southbank. We had a really nice evening, but half an hour after I got back to my room, I took an overdose. 

“It wasn’t planned and looking back, it’s clear I wasn’t in a good place, but I managed to convince myself I was happy because I thought I should be.” 

One of the biggest turning points for Shannon came when Manny joined the charity as a handyman and impromptu music teacher. He set up a small music club to nurture residents’ passion for music. She now recognises joining as the day she found an outlet for some of her trauma. 

“I’m still working on myself, but I’ve come so far,” she said. “I still do laundry at 3am because of my anxiety, but I feel so much more confident. I know 10 people  in the last two months alone that have died and I’m trying to work through that with my counsellor. But the music lessons with Manny have been a huge help! 

“I’ve learnt that if I want to be there for others, I need to look after myself first. Ever since I was child, I’ve tried to put others before myself, but it’s always led to me crashing. I know if I want to look after vulnerable people in the future, I need to make sure I am looking after my own mental health, so I am around to do it.”