“We are so thankful we could be there with dad in his last moments”

By Sian Bayley, Local Democracy Reporter

A family has thanked hospital staff for allowing them to spend crucial last moments with their father, who sadly died from coronavirus last month.

Alex Yuen, 71, who ran a Chinese medicine outlet in Balham High Road for 20 years, was able to talk to his children one last time as he lay dying at St George’s Hospital in Tooting.

His daughter, Elysia Yuen, 32, said it was “by the grace of god” that the family were to be able to be with their father when he passed away.

“We are just so thankful we were able to be there by his side and that he wasn’t alone,” she said.

“I know a lot of people didn’t have that opportunity.”

Elysia said that being with their father has allowed the family to deal with their grief a lot better.

They hope that the media coverage their family has received has helped to prompt some of the recent changes in guidance to allow families to be there in the last moments, where possible.

The latest NHS guidance says hospital visiting is suspended, but does list several exceptions.

This includes an immediate family member or carer visiting someone receiving end-of-life care, including visits to coronavirus patients.

But this is determined on a case-by-case basis and families are encouraged to keep in touch with their loved ones by phone or video call.

“For families who aren’t able to see their loved ones at the end, that’s just terrible,” said Elysia. “These new changes are amazing.

“I know it’s a difficult balance. You can’t have so many people in the Covid wards, but people can’t be left to die alone.”

Mr Yuen, who treated many common conditions like lower back pain, focused on restorative sleep and a caring approach.

Alex had been ill for a couple of weeks before his condition suddenly worsened, and he had to be taken into hospital.

Elysia, who lives in Devon and had not seen her father since January, immediately drove for more than two hours to the hospital in Tooting.

She “pleaded” with the nursing staff to see him outside of the official visiting hours, and cleaned her hands before putting on gloves, face masks and a plastic apron.

“I felt like I wasn’t supposed to be there,” she said.

“I think always in the back of my mind I didn’t think he would pass away, and I didn’t want him to think that I thought he would pass away, and that’s why I didn’t come to him sooner.”

The family later managed to arrange a group video call with their brother in Singapore, and another brother in Sheffield.

The call lasted 15-20 minutes, and allowed the family to be together one last time.

“At that point my dad was quite breathless,” said Elysia.

“He was quite quiet compared to his usual self. He was very accepting. He just kept saying ‘yes, yes, yes.’ He wasn’t stringing many sentences together.

“In the first place he didn’t want to go to hospital because he feared he was going to die alone.

“Every day he would call us, and say he wanted to come home.

“We reassured him that the best place for him was in hospital so he could get better.”

She was then told her father did not have long left to live.

“We were rushing, trying to put the PPE on to get to my dad’s bedside,” she said. “I was the first one to his bedside and his eyes were slightly open, looking upwards.

“He wasn’t talking. I don’t know how conscious he was. But I just told him that he was home now and that he got his own way, and that we loved him.

“My mum told him to ‘let go, don’t worry’. My sister said to close his eyes. And he closed his eyes. We frantically said ‘we love you’ and we would see him again, don’t worry. Then he took his last breaths.”

Now his family has set up a JustGiving page in their father’s memory to help complete and publish his “life’s work,” a book on the power of restorative sleep as well as to continue to offer treatments to people who cannot afford it.

To donate, click here.

Pictured top: Alex Yuen with his family